Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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