if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
