i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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