my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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