you win again, gameday.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
