when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
