I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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