and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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