Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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