turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
it glows. i had to have it.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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