She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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