Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
