I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
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