i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't deserve a penis
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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