at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
