I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
