Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
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At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.