Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...

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(404): I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl... http://tfl.nu/69tn

Replies (29) Good night (3253) Bad night (685)
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(904): View more from Florida

I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...

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(904): I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem... http://tfl.nu/1w4y

Replies (43) Good night (5726) Bad night (933)
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(845): View more from New York

hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table

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(845): hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table http://tfl.nu/l87u

Replies (20) Good night (3386) Bad night (1645)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi

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(412): just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi http://tfl.nu/nlgm

Replies (4) Good night (736) Bad night (2237)
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(435): View more from Utah

Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line

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(435): Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line http://tfl.nu/ol2d

Replies (2) Good night (745) Bad night (1618)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.

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(314): Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge. http://tfl.nu/n4av

Replies (7) Good night (1321) Bad night (619)
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(954): View more from Florida

and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner

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(954): and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner http://tfl.nu/ab93

Replies (15) Good night (1457) Bad night (1024)
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(909): View more from California

I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..

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(909): I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise.. http://tfl.nu/c4kh

Replies (12) Good night (2337) Bad night (1152)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.

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(570): Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan. http://tfl.nu/2zix

Replies (4) Good night (1151) Bad night (589)
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(303): View more from Colorado

can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?

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(303): can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself? http://tfl.nu/x2xl

Replies (8) Good night (1362) Bad night (517)
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(408): View more from California

We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar

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(408): We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar http://tfl.nu/h9fi

Replies (1) Good night (585) Bad night (431)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.

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(724): We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point. http://tfl.nu/0a5d

Replies (3) Good night (668) Bad night (356)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.

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(847): Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing. http://tfl.nu/r89c

Replies (0) Good night (773) Bad night (348)
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(251): View more from Alabama

I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.

(1-251): View more from Alabama

It was totally the lead singer.

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(251): I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced. (1-251): It was totally the lead singer. http://tfl.nu/pb9x

Replies (6) Good night (697) Bad night (328)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on

(812): View more from Indiana

Nope

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(517): Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on (812): Nope http://tfl.nu/b6fu

Replies (0) Good night (354) Bad night (341)

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