and you said cock pushups were impossible
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila