FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
