sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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