You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
