the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
