Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
