My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
