all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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