a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
