last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
