I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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