it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
