I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
