there was a trapeze. enough said
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
