she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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