mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
smell my finger.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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