Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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