is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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