everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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