Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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