We're like a lot better than the average bears
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
