if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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