Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
