i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
