need another drink. this is the easiest way
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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