I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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