Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
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keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
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Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
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