How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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