No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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