They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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