Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize