I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
