dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
