She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
