great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
