You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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