the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
