In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
