she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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