I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
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I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
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I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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