Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
smell my finger.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
