I love having hate sex.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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