i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
