so that wasnt chicken after all
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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