No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
